Sea cucumbers

I was interested this week, on news of the sad death of cricketer Martin Crowe, to hear that he’d chosen to treat his cancer with 'natural therapies' rather than follow doctors’ advice.  Each to their own, of course. But, given the alarming influence that sportspeople have in this country, well. I despair. One minute it’s weetbix sandwiches, heat pumps, and the joys of crippling debt, and the next thing you know it’s all what a nice flag and eat your sea cucumbers.

Google sea cucumbers and you’ll find there’s no shortage of people who believe they do cure cancer, but actual research is only in its infancy, and is not

Here, kitty
Photo credit: theeggadventure.com

conclusive one way or the other. 

Now I’m in no position to scoff at anyone suffering a severe illness who tries anything that offers hope. I once, in desperation, saw a naturopath in the hope that ANYTHING she could suggest might (might) help me with the crippling pain of endometriosis. Hope was enough. Strangely the waving of a pendulum gave me no relief, though I’m sure Dr Crystal-Muncher would say my skepticism ruined the effect. And this would be so, if she was talking about the placebo effect. But actual medicine works whether you ‘believe’ in it or not, surely?

I’m all for people experimenting with different methods of pain control and quality of life enhancement, don’t get me wrong. Whether it’s prescription painkillers, liquid marijuana, yoga stretches or a nice cab sav, we’re all different in what works for taking that edge off – and if you’re suffering from a terminal illness or any health condition that compromises your ability to enjoy yourself, you should be able to try whatever you like to improve your physical comfort and your state of mind.

But please don’t experiment on yourself with sea cucumber extract, vitamin C , turmeric and baking soda expecting an actual cure for your condition. If you want to know

Quack

whether some wacko treatment works, why not get yourself involved in a clinical trial, and then we can all have some proper evidence about your alternative medicine.

But then as Ben Goldacre has explained there’s no such thing as alternative medicine. Because if it doesn’t work, it’s not medicine. And if it works, it’s not ‘alternative’ is it? It’s just 'medicine'.